Whenever I think of change, I think of my dad. The first time I ever heard this saying was in 1988. I had been out of my house for a little while. I had about three years, clean and sober. At the time, I was only 18. I was homeless, and I ended up having to move in with my dad for the first time.
When the decision came for me to move in with him. One of the things that he said was, “there is no pain in change. There’s only pain in the resistance to change.” And it has stuck with me ever since.
I can recall a time when I had hurt a young lady that I had been dating. I had never been much on talking about my past. My focus has always been on moving forward. I’m not afraid of my past, that’s just me. But there was something from my past, that she found out about, that hurt her. And I remember saying to someone, with tears in my eyes, “I know that there is no pain in change, but damn it, I want to resist this change.” And I meant it.
It may be a paradox, but when we surrender, we win.
A man stands at the edge of a cliff, ready to give up on life. Right as he begins to leap, a giant hand suddenly reaches out from the clouds and grabs his collar. The man begins to struggle with the giant hand, yelling, “let me go, let me go! I have nothing left! I GIVE UP!” The hand continues to hold on. Until finally, the man gets so tired of fighting. He surrenders.
I’ve learned not to resent those who have what I don’t.
One of the things I’ve struggled with is resenting those with greener grass. Today I have the mortgage. The wife who never knew me drunk or high. The three kids that never knew me, drunk or high and two of them never even knew me to smoke cigarettes. Yeah. I’ve got a lot of those changes, what a brother calls ‘quality of life’ problems. Continue reading “I’ve learned to not resent those who have what I don’t.”