More about Faith, Less about Trust.

Faith is spiritual, trust is not.

I was very young when I first found a 12 step recovery, and I didn’t drive for a long time. I relied on members to get me to and from meetings. And many a time I’d be sitting outside of the apartment complex waiting on someone to pick me up and they’d be running 30, 40 min, or even an hour late. I used to get so pissed off, and after a while, I started realizing that there are times when shit happens, and there’s nothing we can do about it.

I learn to have faith in one’s ability.

I learned to have faith in someone’s ability to pick me up when they say they’re going to pick me up. That has nothing to do with trust. That’s why I do not see trust as a spiritual principle. Faith is. Suppose I put trust in you being where you say you’ll be, and then you don’t show up, guess what? You’ve broken my “trust.” It’s fallible. But if I have faith that you had every intention and had every ability to show up when you say you’re going to show up, but then something happens. For whatever reason, you don’t show up on time. Maybe you get sick, have an accident, have a flat tire, or your car breaks down. I still have absolute faith that you were capable of.

My faith remains intact.

I still have complete faith that you capable of doing what you said. Even if you simply overslept, you still had the ability. I can put my faith in you, and there’s absolutely nothing you can do to break that faith. When I put that spiritual principle unconditionally in you, that has to do with seeing your capacity, what you’re capable of, and it has no bearing on what you do.

Every morning I meditate, every evening I inventory.

These principles and each one of these steps is meant to be worked and applied daily. My foundation today is the 12 Essential Spiritual Principles, I’ve learned to regularly turn to, to the best of my ability. I am not perfect by any means. You want to see me lose principles and lose my serenity, ride with me in a cage (bikers term for a car), Especially during rush hour traffic in Dallas. For that reason, I put the little JnP logo on the back of my car. So when I see it through my rearview mirror, it reminds me to stay on the journey in principle. It helps me be a calmer driver. At least in theory.

That’s the real foundation of my faith today. 

It is remembering to continuously show up at least enough to continue giving what I got. Otherwise, I’ll lose it. I’ve lost everything once before. I don’t want to fall short again. I’m not saying you should give so much that you end up enabling those who do nothing. I believe in equal responsibility in being self-supporting. Even when I can’t give in one way, there is always a way to “do my part.” I just have to maintain my faith in my own capabilities as well as yours.

I lost my Humility and clean time to my Ego.

Someone posted on Facebook the other day this question, “what were you known for, in high school?” I very rarely answer any of this kind of crap on Facebook. I don’t do the chain stuff. But, I answered this one. The reason why was probably a little ego-driven. Because what was I known for was long hair and 12 step recovery.

It was in high school when I first got put into the hospital for my addiction. 

When I first got out of treatment and went back to high school. There was A youth recovery group called R.A.F.T. Right Alternatives For Teens. R.A.F.T. was a support group in my local school district. The founder of the group, an art teacher, quickly approached me about joining R.A.F.T.

Continue reading “I lost my Humility and clean time to my Ego.”

I find your personal Values to be of little importance.

Black background in support of BLM.
Stating that self worth comes from how we treat the world.

Whenever we get to talking about values, I have a little different perception. I don’t put a lot of weight into ‘values’ these days.
I’ve quit worrying about morals, stopped worrying about ethics, quit worrying about values. Those are subjective. Those are dependent on what we’re taught at any given time from the culture that we grew up in.

If you look up the definition of values, you won’t see ‘values’ itself. It is ‘value.’ A singular noun. Almost every definition has to do with ‘worth.’ Somewhere down in there, around the tenth definition, there will be one that says ‘values’ plural. And it’s still about worth and it, but it talks about the societal worth given by common ideas within a community.

“We become able to make wise and loving decisions based on principles and ideas that have real value in our lives.”

Just for Today
Continue reading “I find your personal Values to be of little importance.”

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